Doodie

My neighbor called me in a panic. "There is a gigantic shit in my Adirondack chair."

"What?"

" I just lifted up the kiddie pool and underneath was a gigantic shit. This is not cat poop. This is a really big poop. I mean what kind of animal could that be?"

"I don't know," I said. "Raccoon? Possum? Turkey?"

"No. There's no way. It has to be something bigger."

"Like what?" I said. "Do you think somebody took a dump on your Adirondack chair?"

We live in sort of a fringe neighborhood. The kind of place that will be super cool about a year after we sell. For now, it's the kind of place where bikes are stolen, where randoms drive through throwing cigarette butts or the occasional beer can. But could someone actually have taken a dump on my friend's Adirondack chair?

"Hold on. I'm going to call Gordon. Maybe he knows what it is. I'll call you right back," she said.

Duh duh duh .... duh duh duh .... duh duh duh....duh. Standard Blackberry ringtone that I can't figure out how to change.

"Hey. What did he say?"

"He said it was Cal." Cal is their youngest.

"What? What do you mean?"

"He said Cal came in the house on Sunday with poop smeared everywhere but he couldn't find the actual dump. It must've been in the chair.....He said he just missed it. He didn't see it."

I'm not sure what the point of this story is other than this. First, men are truly oblivious because even if you didn't see the poop, you probably should've smelled it baking in the sun in your Adirondack chair. Second, you win some you lose some in the potty training biz.