Do You Have That Hunk of Skin?

I had to use this. It's too good to be true. My friend and neighbor was cleaning her broken blender, because that's what women do. We make use of the tools we have. So she's cleaning blueberry off her broken blender and cuts her finger open at the knuckle. Bleeding profusely, she spies a big piece of skin on the blender. Thinks to herself, "I'm bleeding profusely and there's a big piece of skin on my blender." Puts two and two together and she heads to the local urgent care where the doctor confirms she will need stitches.

The doctor asks her, "Do you have that hunk of skin?" No. No she does not. Like any other sane woman, she cleaned up her blender and disposed of the big honkin' piece of skin before heading out to take care of herself. "Because I could re-attach that skin. If you had it," he says.

And in case you don't believe in signs as much as superstitious old me...the injured finger is her middle one now temporarily raised in a familiar salute.

F you she can tell the world. I don't need no stinkin' skin. And I'm not getting rid of that blender.